


petals of love

by injunoir



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Multi, Unrequited Love, my first time writing hanahaki sorry if it sucks, some fluff I guess, the ending sucks but i tried to not make it sad i don't know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-28 00:30:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20055085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/injunoir/pseuds/injunoir
Summary: Being in love with someone was mostly seen as something to look forward to, something being excited over and thrilling to feel. But in the world Jung Jaehyun, Dong Sicheng, and Nakamoto Yuta live in; people pay the price of loving the wrong person.And the price of unrequited love was death.





	petals of love

**Author's Note:**

> Wow okay hello I'm back with more angst :D this fic took me about four months? to finish and I cannot say that I'm super proud of it but I don't exactly hate it. Though the ending could've been waaay better, i hope you enjoy !

Being in love with someone was mostly seen as something to look forward to, something being excited over and thrilling to feel. But in the world Jung Jaehyun, Dong Sicheng, and Nakamoto Yuta live in; people pay the price of loving the wrong person.

And the price of unrequited love was death.

It was fairly rare, the disease that appeared from nowhere which then spread to every part of the world. Doctors studied and tried to find a cure, but the Hanahaki disease was one that could not be cured with medicine.

When the first victim of the Hanahaki disease coughed up their first flower, it took the world by storm. Doctors tried to help the girl but in the end, the roots covered every inch of her respiratory system, petals became full bloomed flowers, and she suffocated to death.

Later, more and more victims were taken by the Hanahaki disease. After a long time, the doctors finally realized what it was and why it blossomed.

The Hanahaki disease is an illness born from unrequited love in which the patient will throw and cough up flower petals. The petals usually being the favorite flower of the one they love. It'll go from only petals, to petals _and blood_. The roots will spread in their respiratory system, tightening around their lungs resulting in the patient suffocating to death.

The cure is to have the love be returned, but not in the friendship way. However, if it the love is never returned, the patient has the option of getting the roots surgically removed _but_ doing so would remove all romantic feelings, as well as memories, the patient once had for the person who didn't return their love.

Jung Jaehyun never would have imagined himself in that position. He never pictured himself where he was now; hunched over a toilet as he threw up the flower petals.

He _hated_ it. Absolutely despised it. It, he would compare, was worse than the usual vomiting after a hangover or being sick. Way worse. The way his chest began to ache, his eyes stinging with tears from how intense the pain was, to the way his throat would burn as he coughed up the petals or threw them up.

He knew why — or rather _who_. It was his best friend; Dong Sicheng, a boy he'd met first year of high school after he'd transferred from China. Jaehyun did all he could to help the boy feel comfortable and happy. He even took it upon himself to help him study korean with the (little) chinese he knew. And Sicheng appreciated it.

Fast forward to the second year of high school when Nakamoto Yuta, a transfer from Japan, had joined their school and meddled his way into the once duo - now trio.

It sucked, Jaehyun would think, how he’d only realized his feelings for Sicheng when the chinese admitted he had brewed feelings for Yuta the night before his birthday. It also sucked that he had to see Sicheng blatantly flirting with the japanese and the said boy not even realizing it.

They're now two years into college with the three sharing a dorm. They each had their own rooms, sometimes all sleeping in one together. Jaehyun's feelings only grew stronger for the boy who didn’t return his feelings.

Jaehyun would be honest, he wasn’t surprised when he was coughing out the petals of a striped carnation. He just _despised_ the physical pain that came with it, as if the emotional pain wasn't already enough suffering.

And Jaehyun thought about it, getting the surgery, but he didn’t want to _forget_ him. Because even if _he_ was the sole reason for the pain he endured, he was still his best friend.

—

Dong Sicheng. When he first moved to Korea from China, he was _terrified_. Despite that he would be going to live with his uncle and his older cousin, Kun, he didn’t know Incheon like he knew Shanghai.

When he was approached by the shy boy who surprised him with chinese on his first day of school in a foreign country, he felt happy that someone wanted to be his friend. He was thankful for Jaehyun, especially after the boy offered his help in his Korean studies when Sicheng wasn’t with his tutor. They almost immediately became best friends.

Then, Yuta transferred from Japan.

Sicheng already knew he was gay, he’d known since he was ten, he just didn’t know his type. But after a while of getting to know Yuta, he realized he didn’t need to know his type to know he was attracted to the japanese boy.

Before Sicheng told Jaehyun of his growing feelings for their friend, he had thought that Jaehyun liked Yuta as well. He'd seen the way Jaehyun would stare at Yuta when the two were together. After finally voicing his suspicions to Jaehyun, the boy only scrunched his nose and denied any feelings.

And he shrieked in glee before proceeding to tell him how he liked Yuta, not noticing the fall in Jaehyun’s face. Nor did he notice the way his eyes lost their shine from that day onward.

Not too long after, in their final year of high school, Yuta confessed to Sicheng. But it wasn’t how Sicheng hoped. It wasn’t Yuta confessing his feelings for him, but rather for _Jaehyun_.

After that day, Sicheng would start to feel a pain in his chest, felt his throat tighten, and he’d often cough, yet he didn’t think much of it. But then, halfway through his first year in college, he started coughing up flower petals, later throwing them up.

And he only smiled bitterly the first time because how funny, he thought, that the petals belonged to the yellow carnations; Yuta’s favorite.

—

Nakamoto Yuta. To say the least, he considered himself a fool. A fool who fell for the dimpled smile that belonged to the exquisite face of his best friend.

After joining the duo, he felt at ease that he was able to make some friends. He especially adored the way the two boys attempted to learn basic Japanese to try and help with his korean studies (didn’t really work as he ended up getting help from another Japanese transfer who was fluent in Korean) but he loved the two and appreciated their efforts so naturally, they quickly became best friends.

But Yuta felt something shift in him as he hung out with them more - with _Jaehyun_. He believes it happened after the two were out together, just exiting the theater when a little boy, no more than nine, had tripped and dropped his juice. Yuta was just about to go when Jaehyun asked him to hold his things and rushed to help the little boy. He called a worker, helped clean up the mess, and bought the boy a new juice box. He admired Jaehyun so much and seeing him with the little boy, it made things different from then on.

Yuta realized that Jaehyun’s dimples were so cute and made his face much more adorable. He noticed the kind heart the boy had, the way he was so quick to help others and not accepting anything in return. The more he noticed little things, the sooner he realized he liked him.

And he told it all to their best friend, Sicheng. He gushed about the many things Jaehyun did and had done, about how beautiful he was inside and out, and the gorgeous smile of his that could light up any room. Then, he admitted his growing attraction to their best friend as more than that.

And no, he was too far gone thinking about his amazing best friend that he hadn’t noticed the change in Sicheng’s features. He didn’t notice the longing in Sicheng’s eyes as he would look at him. _He noticed nothing._

And as he continued to grow more feelings for Jaehyun, the aching in his chest only got worse. It was freshman year in college when he began to cough up flower petals. The petals of a jonquil.

Jaehyun’s favorite.

Only one person knew about Jaehyun's condition, and that person was none other than Moon Taeil.

Moon Taeil was a tad shorter than Jaehyun - something Jaehyun liked to tease the older about often - as well as a music major. They met during Jaehyun's first year, on his first semester, during his first class.

It started with a, “Hey genius, not everyone's got long limbs like you so quit it blocking the view,” followed by a, “Then why don't you just _grow_?”

Jaehyun was constantly stretching his arms upward, always moving around in his seat which eventually led to the eraser end of a pencil hitting his head. Taeil was mostly blunt, already used to the constant short jokes, so a quick, “I apologize for not being a fucking magician who can magically make himself taller, now would you _please_ just sit still or move elsewhere?” did the job. They became best friends after that, and if anyone asked them _how_, they would just shrug.

Taeil found out about Jaehyun's crush not too long after. But even though he'd barely figured it out, he couldn't help but pity his newly formed friend, because even to him, it was obvious his feelings were not reciprocated. Finding out that Dong Sicheng was in love with Nakamoto Yuta instead wasn't as surprising.

Finding out Jung Jaehyun is a victim of the Hanahaki disease _was_.

It was a rare day where Jaehyun had let his mind slip. He was crouched over the toilet, tears rolling down his cheeks as he dryly gagged the flower petals when the door opened and Taeil stood there in shock. They both spent the night together, Taeil comforting the boy while the two cried.

Taeil learned about the many things Jaehyun did to avoid his two best friends from finding out. Like the way that he removed the key hole from both his bathroom and bedroom doors to prevent anyone from walking in on him mid gag. The way he avoided spending lots of time at home by joining photography club and covering shifts.

Despite the many times Taeil told Jaehyun to confess once and for all, or to at least tell them he's dying of the disease, Jung Jaehyun remains stubborn and says no every single time.

For Sicheng, Kim Dongyoung - better known as Doyoung - was the only one who knew of his illness.

The two became friends while being tablemates in their Art class. Doyoung had gaped at Sicheng’s sketches while the boy was flipping through his sketchbook to find a clean page. After a string of compliments left his mouth, Sicheng returned them after encouraging Doyoung to show his own.

They began meeting outside of class, their conversations going from Art to just about everything. They got closer and closer till they were attached to the hip and Sicheng felt good to have a friend who wasn't Jaehyun or Yuta.

Unlike Jaehyun and Taeil, it wasn't accidental—the revelation. Sicheng sat down with Doyoung, months into their friendship which assured Sicheng he'd be there for a long time, and confessed.

Doyoung didn't take it lightly. Despite his cold demeanor and usual serious mood, the boy had broken down into tears when Sicheng said the words, _“I have the petals inside me.”_

After finding out it was because of Yuta, Doyoung nodded, because _of course_. Everything began to click in his mind as he thought back to all the times he caught Sicheng staring at Yuta longer than needed. All the extra touches, the _lingering_ touches, the small smiles as he texted him, and him going out of his way to walk Yuta to class or watch him during soccer practice. Everything fell into place and it made sense.

And so Doyoung was there with him more often than before. He was there to be a shoulder for him to cry on, the one comforting him after another one of Yuta's gushes over Jaehyun. He was there to quickly lead Sicheng to the bathroom, prop the toilet seat up, and rub his back as the boy threw up the yellow petals. He was by his side for it all.

Doyoung had even helped cover for him while the boy went to the hospital, even speaking for him when the boy was incapable of doing so himself. Letting him stay over during the worse times where his inner pain got worse and the petals came frequently.

As for Yuta, he had two; Lee Taeyong and Seo Youngho - or just Johnny.

He'd met them both after joining the soccer team freshman year of college. Both of them, Yuta learned, were high school sweethearts, having been dating since their _freshman_ year.

Yuta wasn't going to lie, to himself nor anyone who asked, he was jealous of their love. He wanted something like what they had - something with a person who _did_ love him back unconditionally.

He knew his feelings for Jaehyun weren't reciprocated. It wasn't that much of a secret with the way he looked at Sicheng. He was expecting the confession when Jaehyun pulled him aside that one evening after Sicheng left to China for spring break. Hearing the words, “I have feelings for Sicheng,” weren't as surprising. Nor were the chest pains or the first petals he coughed out.

Telling Johnny and Taeyong about three months into their friendship wasn't as smooth as Yuta had been hoping. They were sitting in Johnny’s and Taeyong’s shared dorm, having gone there after soccer practice. Yuta was going to sleep over, so the boys were bundled up in their bed, Yuta right in between them.

“Guys I have to tell you something important,” Yuta had whispered softly, sitting up on the bed.

Johnny had quickly sat up as well, pausing their movie as both he and Taeyong looked at the boy in concern.

“Everything okay?” Taeyong had asked, and Yuta could even remember his hands running through his hair softly.

Yuta, with eyes brimming with tears and a trembling voice, uttered the words, _“I'm sick. I have Hanahaki."_

The two boys sat in stunned silence, the only sound being the muffled cries Yuta let out. It was Johnny who broke first. He let out a choked sob, one loud enough for all three to hear over the muffled sounds Yuta made.

Johnny quickly wrapped his arms around Yuta, his grip tight as the two cried, which led to Taeyong letting out his own set of cries. Taeyong put his arms over both of them, his own sobs joining theirs. The three were huddled together while they attempted to comfort themselves and each other.

After some time when all three boys were calmed down, Taeyong spoke first.

“Is it Jaehyun?”

Yuta only gave a pained smile, “Yeah, the one and only, _Jung Jaehyun_.”

Johnny sighed, “He's in love with Sicheng, isn't he?”

Yuta nods, burying his head further into Taeyong’s chest, feeling Taeyong’s hand run through his hair and Johnny’s rubbing up and down his back.

They had eventually fallen asleep, the following days spent attached to each other's hips. The two helped Yuta be out of his dorms doing errands or fun activities to keep his mind off of Jaehyun.

As the days went by, the three boys - despite sharing a dorm together - hardly saw each other. Their friends would make plans with them as a way of helping them not be so hurt when alone with each other. They started seeing each other less and less, usually only running into each other in the mornings while getting ready, eating breakfast and dinner together, and when heading to their rooms.

It had been a month since the last time they all spent time together as three. Since they last fell asleep with each other on one of their beds watching reruns.

Then, the three realized that the more time they spent apart, the more the aching in their chests worsened. So, they all got together to watch movies and catch up with each other.

But, all three had recently reached the third stage. They were all finally coughing and throwing up blood mixed with the petals. They knew they were running low on time, and they all planned to finally tell the truth, unbeknownst to them that they wouldn't be leaving each other behind.

It was calm and relaxing as all three of them were on Yuta’s bed, watching some star wars movie Jaehyun had chosen. All of their hearts were racing just by being near each other, chests aching.

It was Jaehyun who took the remote, paused the movie, and said, _“I have to tell you guys something.”_

Sicheng and Yuta sat up, frowns on their lips.

_“I do too,”_ they both said at the same time.

All three looked at each other, nodding as a small smile formed on their faces, _“At once?”_

Yuta counts down with his fingers, all three of them growing anxious. Finally, all three of them said their words. Their words they kept repeating in their heads over and over.

_“I have hanahaki.”_

_“I'm dying.”_

_“I have the petals.”_

They stared at each other with wide eyes, all of them stunned by the confessions. They stay quiet, letting it sink in, but Jaehyun is first to speak.

“I have been in love with him for almost five years.”

“Who...who is it?” Sicheng asks, blinking away his tears.

“It's…you,” Jaehyun choked out.

Sicheng’s eyes went wide, unable to form the right words to say as he quickly turned to Yuta, “What the hell I've been in love with _you_ for four years?”

“I–I’m sorry,” Yuta swallowed thickly before looking at Jaehyun, “I've loved this idiot for three.”

They all stayed quiet before bursting into laughter, “We're so _stupid_,” Sicheng laughed, tears flowing down his cheeks.

“All this time…” Jaehyun shook his head, “We should've fallen for each other instead.”

“Yeah,” Yuta said, all three quiet once more, “we could've had a poly relationship like Kunhang, Yangyang, and Dejun. But instead, we got ourselves in this mess…”

"Yeah but we could've been the better trio," Sicheng chuckles.

"Aren't we already?" Yuta asks.

“I should've told you sooner,” Jaehyun had finally released the tears he'd been forcing to not come out, “maybe I could've saved myself.”

“Yeah, same here,” Yuta and Sicheng agreed.

“It's today,” Yuta sniffled, “today is my—”

“Don't say it,” Sicheng cries, “please just _don't_. It's mine, too.”

“Maybe we _are_ soulmates.” Jaehyun lays down, the two doing the same, “Soulmates bound to each other and never leaving each other's side… Today's my day as well.”

“I even wrote you two goodbye letters,” Yuta cried out.

“I did too,” Sicheng sighed.

“Grab my hand, please,” Jaehyun whispered.

The three boys tightly held each other hands, muttering their final ‘I love you’s’ to each other.

When the roots tightened around them, so did the hold of their hands. They were by each other and it was all that mattered.

—

“You think they're with each other right now?”

Johnny smiled, looking over at Doyoung, and nodded, “I like to think so.”

“You know,” Taeil chuckled, “I never suspected all three of them had it.”

“I can't help but think it's kind of beautiful that they chose each other, to hold onto the memories despite their pain. The surgery would've saved them, but they chose to never forget and pass remembering,” Taeyong sniffled, leaning his head against Johnny’s shoulder.

“I don't think they're still in pain. I _do_ think they are with each other and making new memories.” Taeil fixes the flowers on the vase beside the stone.

“Fuckin’ hate the Hanahaki disease,” Doyoung shakes his head.

“I don't think anyone _doesn't_ hate it,” Johnny hummed, “but I agree. They didn't deserve this. No one does.”

**Author's Note:**

> Do you agree that the ending could've been way better? I hope you enjoyed this though! Thank you for reading <3
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/neofleur)


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